Well done for not joining Matthew!
After a while I think that you will begin to realise what a good decision you have made after a bit more information has come your way, the other side of the coin as it were.
Nearly everyone on this site has woken up to the delusional nature of being a Jehovah's Witness.
Let me give you a clue, the JWs are normally humble and decent people just like you are, not so the leaders. Never in one hundred and forty years of propaganda have they got anything right other than what could be found elsewhere in other religious literature. All of their predictions have fallen completely flat and have been passed off and over without apology!
They misled millions of believers who gave up their independence, livelihood, money and time, they proudly wasted the whole of their lives for the beliefs of the Watchtower-- and died disappointed. For about seventy odd years they taught with absolute certainty that Armageddon would come within the generation which lived through the year 1914.
Does this give you any insight as to how they operate? i.e permanently moving the goal posts forward in time and treating the faithful as workhorses.
I hope that you also can come to see that Armageddon and paradise are also fictions like much of the Bible.